What to do when the spouse missed the pool meeting

7 min read

Ask who else decides when you book, and book them both. If one still cannot come, send the same experience to both phones that night, then offer a call with them before you talk price. In a HomeAdvisor survey of US adults reported in December 2021, about 30% of partners made decisions without telling the other when they disagreed.

The person who can say no may never have stood in the yard

You met one of them. You walked the yard, drew the pool, priced it and presented it. Then you hear "we need to talk to my spouse." The second person gets a PDF and a number. They did not see the sun shelf, the evening light or the kids' faces. The number wins.

The best number we found is not about pools. In a HomeAdvisor survey of 975 US adults who had done a home project with a partner (reported by Pro Remodeler, 1 December 2021), 65% of women and 63% of men called themselves the main decision maker, and when they disagreed, about 30% of partners made decisions without telling the other: 33% of men and 25% of women. Budget caused the most difficulty (Pro Remodeler). It is a survey of home projects in general, not pools, and the year of fieldwork is not stated on the page.

Ask who else decides when you book

The cheapest fix is at the start. When someone calls to book the visit, ask.

Example. So I only have to explain it once, who else should be at the table?

Hook Agency, a marketing firm for home trades (US, 2024), makes the same point for home trades: find every decision maker early, so the spouse is not a surprise at the close (Hook Agency). Say it as logistics, not as a test. If they say "just me", ask again at the visit: "Anyone you will want to show this to?"

Book both. A visit with one of them is a rehearsal for the real one. At the visit, get both mobile numbers and both emails, and ask each of them whether text is fine.

If one cannot come, move the visit

A real reason is a good reason. Offer a second slot.

Example. Totally fine. Thursday evening works for me. Would that suit both of you?

If you cannot move it, put the second person on a video call for the money part. Do not skip them.

Send the absent one the same experience that night

If the visit has happened without them, give the second person what the first one had: the yard, the design, the evening light. A PDF and a number is not that.

Send a short film, a clip of the design in their yard, or at minimum a few views, to both of them the same night. The first person forwards it. The second watches it on a couch with a coffee. Label any film as an AI concept of the design, not a photo, a plan or a promise of materials.

Example, to the one who was at the meeting. Hi Dana, Sam from [Your Pools]. Would a short clip of the design help when you talk to Mark tonight? I can send it in two minutes.

Example, to the second decision maker, with the first one's OK. Hi Mark, Sam from [Your Pools]. Dana shared your number so you can see what she saw in the yard. What is the first thing you would want me to answer?

Get the first person's OK before you message the second. It is their conversation to start. Only text Mark if he gave you his mobile number for this job and said texting is fine. Otherwise send the same words by email, or ask Dana to forward the clip.

Ask what the second person will need to hear

Hook Agency suggests asking what the other person would say about the options (Hook Agency). It works for pools too.

Example. What do you think Mark will say, and which part will he ask about first?

The answer is usually the budget, since budget caused the most difficulty in the HomeAdvisor survey above. So send the total and the monthly number together, and answer the money question before it is asked. Our price objections page has the words.

Offer a call with both of them

If the second person has questions, take the call.

Example. Would it help if I joined a call with both of you this week? Fifteen minutes, I will answer anything and show the yard again.

A call you offer beats a callback you chase.

Do not push a same-day signature

Some sales trainers push for a close on the spot. We do not. Our view is that a signature one partner did not expect is a risk to the job.

There is also a rule to know. In the US, the FTC Cooling-Off Rule (16 CFR Part 429) covers sales made at the buyer's home and other places outside the seller's regular place of business, and gives the buyer a right to cancel within three business days, with the seller required to give notice of that right (eCFR, 16 CFR Part 429). Whether it applies to a given pool contract depends on where it is signed, the contract terms and your state, and states have their own rules. Ask your lawyer. We are not giving legal advice.

The next touch is a dated one

When you have sent the film and the numbers, book the next step with a date.

Example. How about Thursday at 7 with both of you? I will bring the revised numbers and we can look at the yard again.

If nobody answers, the sequence on how to follow up on a pool proposal takes over: day 2, day 7, a dated last note. The twelve texts on follow-up texts after a pool quote are written for these moments.

Why a film does the work of a second meeting

You cannot be at their kitchen table twice. A film can. We found no study that tests film against photos for pool buyers, so we will not give you a number. What we have is homeowners saying they cannot picture the finished yard (the Quiet Job Playbook quotes one). Try a film on a few jobs and compare your own results.

RenderSplash turns the renders you already made into a short AI film of your design. Everything above works with a PDF and a phone. Read why homeowners stall after the render and how to show a homeowner the pool before they sign for the research behind it, and the Playbook for the 90-day plan.